Success in life needs no worries

Most of us are really stronger than we realize, we have a great potential to overcome our worries, fears and so many obstacles, regardless of how big and scary they are. That potential can help us lead a long, healthier, and happier life. However, the potential don’t just come from nowhere, we have to know how to tap into it consciously to use it in our daily life pursuits.

“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
― Dalai Lama XIV

As I look into our habits and patterns as human beings, I can’t stop but constantly wonder, why do we love doing what hurts us? Even when we understand the consequences of our deliberate actions we hardly stop indulging into the very things that lead us to shipwreck.

Is it natural for us to love things which lead to our own demise?

worry-excellence

We always worry about  – money, security, losing the love, attention, debts, more money, health, what we eat, tomorrow, what we wear, our impression on others, our credibilities, and so much more. Are these things worth it?

I understand that life is tough, harder and challenging enough, but those aren’t enough reasons to waste our lives over worries. In fact, you don’t need to worry at all, life is easier that way.

I have to say, for the past years I have gained enough experience to curb my own worries. But to get there, I had to worry so much about so many things.

I used to worry. I worried before exams. I worried after exams. I worried before the results. I worried before the job interviews. I worried after the interviews. In short, I worried all the time. The only moment I stopped worrying was when I was asleep, which is normal.

I remember in my last year of secondary education, we had to re-sit for the finals, the exams which were ongoing were nullified due to leakage – that was bad. I was filled with so many worries. The worries hindered me from doing my best preparations. In fact, I only worried at best and did little or nothing to overcome it. It was a tough moment to go through, painfully tough.

But all that came to pass. Now that I reflect on that moment I smile and wonder, what really made me worry so much?

However, to say the least, I am glad I went through that moment, for it has forever changed my perception of life. It has changed how I view things and the outcomes. There was once in life, I had nothing to hope for. Anything that seemed to shed some light into the brighter future would be a golden chance, and I clung to it – I was so much attached to the outcome that I never tolerated even the slightest deviations. That’s why whenever simple obstacles appeared, I worried.

But after a thorough observations, I then realized that worries are simply a thing of the past for me.

I have, since then, learnt that worries are nothing but lack of faith in what we do.

Worry Is A Lack Of Faith

When you have little or no faith, you are likely to be skeptical of achieving your goals in life. That’s the root of all worries. You worry if things will be as you wish. You worry if you are capable of realizing your plans. You worry about everything, even those outside your reach and influence.

Do you want to live a healthier and more meaningful life? Do you want to see your goals come to life?

If so, then avoid worrying when focusing on your desires, instead be confident. Worry creates the state of instability in the mind and deprives you of the capacity to focus. The lack of concentration lowers your powers to create enough positive emotions on the mind because you will jump from an idea to idea without giving any thought enough time for deeper considerations. Worry is a sign of lack of faith in both your abilities and desires.

In my opinion, I would better understand the value of fear, which at least brings us some significant positive values as I explained in my previous post on Why is fear important and how to gain power over it. But worry merits no chance in your life, because it is more destructive that you can imagine.

Have you wondered what does worries do to us? How does it affect our lives? What pattern does it create in us?

Let me take you there briefly,

Worry is a reccuring pattern

You have to understand, if you are a person who’s constantly worried, then you’ll always worry. It’s like how I always say, everything is a pattern – you are most likely to repeat what you do, unless you take stern measures to change that. If you worry, you are likely to indulge in it, guess what? You’ll be addicted to worry, even with petty stuff. In reality, most times we worry over petty issues.

Worry lead to health complications

According to some experts, and  how it was quoted in this post, worry leads to a lot of physical and mental stress. They listed a few issues like heart problems, headaches, fatigue and so many more. I hope I don’t need to emphasize on that.

Worry leads to procrastination

Ever seen someone who worry so much? Well, I have. They do what they do best, that is worry and nothing more. Worry incapacitates them from taking action. They normally end up doing nothing, well of course, than just worrying.

Worry is a barrier to your goals. It leads to regrets in the end.

How to stop worrying

In the book, How to Stop worrying and Start living, Dale Carnegie listed efficient and concrete steps to get rid of all sorts of worries. These simple steps were:

  1. Write down what you are worried about
  2. Write down what you can do about it
  3. Decide what you can do about it
  4. Start immediately to carry out that decision.

Practice these steps. I have to say, my worries are always gone the moment I reach the third step because then my mind calms down and I have a much wider knowledge of thing to do. I should say, it keeps me sane.

Did you learn something? Be sociable and share with your friends.

Be smart, hard work kills

Hard work is a virtue, right? Well, not always. I have done my share of hard work and in the process I observed that hard work is the thing of the past, this is the moment to be smart and get more done with your precious time. I would understand if you are a bit reluctant to buy my point of view, but this article will show you why it is so.

I always compare the efforts I put into a task and the value I acquire in the end, that’s how I measure hard work. That may not be correct but it’s surely a good start for me.

I know we work hard every day in life, but are the end products worth the efforts? Are the outcomes compensating the time we invest?

 Hard-Work-Ant

Hard work is long hours. Smart work is Productivity

For most of us, hard work means nothing other than putting so much time into a task regardless of whether we are actively and efficiently working towards solving the task at hand or not.

I am not saying time is out of the equation. Not at all, time is still a very crucial factor. However, being smart requires more than the time you put to a task, it demands measuring the productivity relative to the time spent on the task.

Productivity is the amount of work done with respect to time. If you can do the same amount of work in a shorter time, then it’s much better than wasting a lot more hours on trivialities while you could have accomplished a lot more tasks with the wasted time.

Hard work is physical. Smart Work is Mindset

Ever saw how ants work? They are hard workers. Everyone agrees that ants are hardworkers because they are always busy and seem to move around doing something.

Well, this is another stereotype for the idea of hard work, most of us imagine the manual and physical labor when talking of hard work. It’s the mental picture that is built amongst most people who still carry that old idea of hard work. This concept is based on the manual labour that was performed in the past, some of us still carry it to the modern world.

On the other hand, smart work involves thinking a lot while synchronizing the thoughts with your actions aiming at acquiring the best and quality outcomes. In fact, this is being smart.

Bear in mind that, it’s not so much the physical efforts that produce quality results. It’s everything to do with how we think when we perform the tasks that lead to quality outcomes. This is true because skills and knowledge aren’t physical but intangible thoughts we harbor in our minds. The moment our actions and thoughts correlate, we are sure to produce the best with our efforts.

How To Be Smart

  • Measure Quality Not Quantity
    I, like most people I presume, quantified the number of hours I had been working in the office and considered it to signify that I’m a hard worker. This is the wrong way to go about it.

Be smart and quantify the quality of the work you achieve within the alloted time. Working for the quality of the outcome is smart, the contrary is the highest form of indolence.

      • Cut down the hours to as minimum as possible – this increases efficiency by doing more in a shorter time
      • Choose your peak times and perform the most brain involving tasks
      • The rest of the time engage into other manual activities, that don’t require a lot of brain work – refresh your mind
  • Think Before You Act
    In my opinion, being smart means thinking ahead before taking the necessary action. Thinking is a virtue and you’ll realize it when you practice as you work towards your goals.

Thinking delays taking action but when you commence, you are more accurate and faster than had you done otherwise. Unify your thoughts and actions. Work with your mind and don’t use force alone, because that’s an old way of getting things done. Whatever you do, think first then act.

To add up, you can:

1. Take ten to 15 minutes thinking before you start doing, build a mental picture of how to do it. Rehearse in your mind first.

2. Before you finish the day, write down what you have done for the day. Again, build a mental picture and see if you could have done anything different. This will give you the feedback on what could be improved. Changes must be incorporated in the successive days.

3. If you are stuck into something difficult, then take some time and think about it for a while and let it go. Your mind is powerful enough to work on finding the solution while you dwell on other important stuff.

This is my favorite way of cracking hard and seemingly complicated problems and ideas. More often than not, I end up with the best possible way to solve the problem. After all, it doesn’t take a lot of hard work, just beig smart.

Found this article useful? Be sociable and share with your friends

Life is happier when you expect less

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” – Alexander Pope

We always have expectations in life. Some are real and some are blown out of proportions. One thing is clear – our expectations define our levels of happiness in life. The more we expect, the less happy we are likely to be, and vice versa is true.

In my opinion, expectation is when we search for external means to fill the emptiness within us. As a result, we search in all other places but within us. We look in all wrong places but the right place – that’s inside us. That’s why true happiness always elude us.

Happiness comes without too much expectations

It’s true that the less expectations you have when embarking on any goal, the less likely you’ll get disappointed with the outcomes.

I have learnt that high expectations bring, for a brief moment, a state of happiness and bliss. However, when these expectations go unmet, they become the very sources of sadness and pain.

Expectation is no less harmful that being a perfectionist, only that you expect more from others and do less to make the reality happen.

You are your own worst enemy. If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you.” – Lisa Kleypas

Stop expecting, take action

Stop expecting others to do things for you. Stop expecting things to happen without action on your part. Instead, take action to make things happen.

For instance, if you have too much expectations in your relationships, you’ll expect others to do more for you while you enjoy the benefits. You’ll less likely think of others. Likewise, you’ll expect all your actions to be reciprocated – that leads to sadness if your expectations aren’t met.

Start Giving, don’t expect in return

In my opinion, you should set expectations on what you can do, not what you can receive. Expecting to give is easy – giving is within your reach.

However, expecting to receive is a lot more complicated. We don’t always receive what we expect, or at least not in a way we expected it.

You are capable of giving – love, support, courage, hope and so much more.

Stop expecting love, share it first.

Stop expecting people to look for a friend in you – instead, initiate and be friendly.

Stop expecting help, instead, offer generously – offer your sincere help. Offer your time to help.

Stop expecting the world to offer you what you want, start working for it.

Stop expecting life to get better without your deliberate actions, start improving yourself and it will get better.

Life is happier when you stop expecting and start taking simple steps towards what you want, who you want to be and what you want to have. They always say – happiness is progress. True progress comes when you stop expecting and start acting towards your aims.

When you  give don’t expect in return. Not everyone can give back. In fact, not everything can be easily reciprocated. Simply give without expecting in return.

Be Grateful

Gratitude brings you in harmony with yourself. Being grateful means appreciating what you have.

Wanting what we don’t have or what is out of reach leads to unhappiness.

To be happier – improve your reality. Lower your expectations of the external world. Don’t be a slave to your appetites or wants. Be grateful for what’s within you and what you possess. Most of all, love what you have.

Did you find this article useful? Be sociable, share it with your friends

You can always quit, why quit now?

It’s always good learning from the past – both yours and those of others. Our pasts teach us a lot about our patterns towards success. If your past is filled with success, you can always replicate the same patterns to get ahead in the present and the future. If your past was filled with failures, then you can always learn new patterns to replace those unproductive patterns. Either way, the past must be a lesson well learned.

In the past, I was so much in a hurry and wanted things to happen as fast as they came into my mind. I wished I waved a magic wand and things magically appearred without any efforts, but that wasn’t the case.

Nonetheless, I was motivated and eager to follow through goals during the first days, but few days down the road when no results showed up, I was discouraged, my persistence waned, and I usually quit. Patience and persistence weren’t my strongest traits.

This was the trend – day after day – goal after goal.

I failed more times than I succeeded. Instead of taking time to learn and get better next time around, I discared the lessons and embarked on another goal, blindly. I was after quick gratifications, but nothing ever matured.

After going through personal growth, I learnt my mistakes and replaced most of those unproductive patterns with productive ones. Finally, this is what I learnt from my past.

Take one day at a time

Life is precious and we need to lead it one day at a time. We always worry and dread too much about the future and forget to enjoy the simple moments in the present.

Through time I have learnt that you should always focus on making today count.

Don’t dread for tomorrow while today is hardly done. Don’t plan anything for the future while you still lack efficiency to undertake your goals today. It is not any nobler planning to do more or better tomorrow while you hardly perfom at your best today, I simply call that procrastination.

Do every day, all that can be done that day, don’t leave anything for tomorrow and don’t do tomorrow’s work today. Just take one day at a time.

Narrow your choices

Choices are beguiling. In my opinion, choices derail us from our journey to ultimate success. Anytile we have choices, we go for easy ones and avoid those that lead to pain of growth. We love quick gratifications – that’s more human-like.

Once you narrow down your choices, you have little or no options to look up to. You’ll end up sticking to your goal. That’s what focus is all about.

So far I have learnt that, the people who breakthrough are the ones who had absolutely no choice but to follow through their goals, they single-mindedly focused and persisted through even in the hardest of time. In the end, they triumphed.

Have intrinsic motives

Quitting is easy if you are motivated by external factors to pursue it. If your reasons to follow through the goal are superficial, it is likely that you’ll quit in no time.

Money is an extrinsic motive, it works but only for a short time. For instance, when we take a job for the need of money, we’ll never be fully satisfied with it. In case another lucrative position opens up, we’ll be up and running chasing for it. These extrinsic motives make us pursue things that aren’t really what we desire, and whenever we find a better solution that promises quicker outcomes, we quit our original path, even if it was the right one. This wastes our time, energy and the spirit of persistence because we sense that we’re lost in the maze of paths that lead nowhere.

However, when we go for instrinsic motives like growth, sense of purpose, contributing into others’ lives, and experiencing daily joy and happiness from what we do, we tend to avoid quitting and stick much longer because our inner selves are much more content with what we do, which is much better.

Set goals that complement your instrinsic motives, and you’ll never quit, even in the face of hardships.

Final Thoughts

Quitting is an option but so is persistence. Working harder is an option but so is indolence. We always make these choices.

Whenever you want to quit, hold your thought and ask yourself – is my goal worth a shot? Can I hold on a bit longer just for today? As Robert Kiyosaki wrote, You can always quit so why quit now?

Did you find this post useful? Be sociable, share with your friends.

The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine

Routine-excellence-2In a recent past, after knowing that a pattern is what leads to success, I engaged into the pursuit to chart my patterns for success. I was certain that with clear patterns in place I could tell whether my goals were going to mature or not.

The first thing was to look into my past goals – both successful and unsuccessful ones. This process was simple because I frequently list down all my goals to keep a record and for future references.

To start with, I listed separetely all goals that were attained and others that were not. Being interested in the success pattern, I was looking at a goal that took a while to come to life and I could measure it, and that came down to my book. The book project was key because I had documented most of the processes spanning months when writing and conceptualizing ideas.

Then intense scrutinizing followed.

After the analysis it was clear that almost all successful goals were done routinely, and as you would expect, most of the failed goals were only done sporadically. To make it even better, I had to look for reasons why some goals were done consistently and some weren’t.

Here are the common characteristics for all successful goals:

      • They were realistic goals from my point of view
      • I was passionate with all of goals that I attained
      • I effortlessly performed tasks for the goals that were meaningful to me

These are key traits for any goal you need to set in your life. If you lack any of the above, then you’ll certainly never have the way to wake up and do the same thing every day, especially during the times when the goings get tougher.

 

“The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.” – Mike Murdock

Routine Is Crucial

To succeed, a routine is crucial. Routine is what builds the pattern in the mind. Successful people are just that – successful. They aren’t who they are on the outside, but what they become in the process of searching for success. Their minds become habituated to a pattern of success, and hence everything to them becomes successful.

Likewise, a successful pattern is what will make you conduct your duties effortlessly as if they are automatic.

For instance, you may notice that you’ll almost always do things the same way every day unless you take the initiatives to break the pattern in your mind. This is because that’s how the mind works – it creates a pattern from the routine. To get your goals done, do them every day.

Routine Is Passion

In my opinion, you can hardly take consistent action towards accomplishing a goal that doesn’t, at least, bring you occasional joy and happiness. Satisfaction comes when you know you are progressing towards attaining something that you are passionate about.

This is where I have to say, the goal you are pursuing must have a way to inspire you. The goal must bring a meaning to you and not others. This is explained in the previous post on How To Set Powerful Life Changing Goals.

Do something that resonates with you, something you love, that’s what a passion is all about.

Final Thoughts

Do you put so much efforts in one day for your goals?

Well, I am here to disappoint you that your sporadic efforts simply won’t lead to immediate success, but routine efforts certainly do.

Your efforts, if not intelligently channelled, seldom determine success. In my opinion, if you put so much efforts in taking action but hardly do it routinely, your efforts may be in vain at last. However, if you distribute the same efforts daily, success comes much faster.

Thus I can conclude, success isn’t a result of mere efforts you put into attaining a goal but the product of concentrated and planned efforts done routinely to achieve a goal.

When i was observing my list, I found that most goals were achieved almost effortlessly. This was a result of spreading my efforts in small chunks and perform tasks routinely. The goals that failed were done sporadically and I put so much efforts in attaining them, in the end, my persistence waned and I gave up.

You are the one who determine your success. If you really desire to achieve your goals, then a routine is the fastest route there.

Did you find this article helpful? Be sociable and share with your friends

How one goal a day changed my life

excellence-goals

I love experimenting on different goals and ideas to find the ones which suit me best. I am of the opinion that, people always stick or persist pursuing the goals and implementing ideas that are passionate about. I suggest you try, because it’s fun.

I set different goals to cover my whole life – career, relationships, finance, education, health, personal development, and other areas.

With several experiments, I aimed at discovering that one goal which motivated me the most to take action, regardless of my emotions.

However, due to busy schedules, I occasionally tend to hold some of the activities and goals and pursue others which demand a little bit of more time.

With this trend I noticed a very interesting fact – there’s one goal in particular that I can’t afford to lose sight of. This is the goal that brings the day to life and springs other goals into action. That goal is waking up early, 5 am to be exact.

This is one of the personal development goals I have pursued for as long as I could remember and it has so far stood the test of time and become one of the major motivating factors towards growth and success in my life.

Whenever I lose focus of this goal for longer periods, I get disoriented and everything else falls apart. I lose focus. I get distracted. I succumb into falsehood and find myself lost in the pursuit of my dreams.

I have found that this goal liberates me because it gives me the following important things:

It Builds Motivation

My secret to staying motivated the whole day through is knowing that I am advancing every day towards the person I intend to become, no matter how slow. Stating my day at 5 am gives me that fighting chance.

Those early hours of the day are powerful to build a sense of being on time with the whole world around me. I can then start my day with confidence.

It Adds Value

Time is a crucial factor for me. This one goal allocates me more time in a very unique way as I get very organized when I wake up early and do most things on time. In the end, it allows me a lot of free time to accomplish other mundane and routine activities.

With the ability to wake up early I can:

      • Get time to read books, almost daily. That allows me to nourish my knowledge
      • Get time to write almost daily. That allows me to cultivate nes skills
      • Get more time to participate into other activities that help me grow consciously

It Facilitates Other Goals

This one goal makes other goals come to life. For instance, most times after waking up, I work out. That takes me from 30 minutes to 1 hour. This is enough to release enough endorphins for the day – stay happy and motivated. After a bath, I begin with the most important goal of the day. A good example is this post, it was the first to be done after I woke up early in a day.

I have observed that being an early riser makes me gain the following:

      • My day is more organized
      • I am more active and alert the whole day through
      • I have plenty of time to accomplish my goals
      • I stay focused and motivated
      • I sleep well at night

This is one goal that changed my life. Had it not been for this very goal, this blog wouldn’t have existed, I wouldn’t have written a book, I wouldn’t have been sharing with you these empowering ideas. It’s all because of this simple goal that I manage to do all these.

I believe there’s one goal that holds a meaning in your life as well. Please share your views with me, I would really love to hear from you.

Found this post helpful? Be sociable and share it!

How to compete and succeed in life

It’s an indisputable fact that competition is the best way to get ahead fast in life. In fact, we are where we are today due to competition. Whenever you compete, you want to be better than your rivals – and that ensures constant progress.

Competition is simply the best way to bring the best out of us. However, to be the best at competing, you need to understand the rules of the game, otherwise you are doomed to failure in the first place.

When it comes to your life, the rules of competition are turned upside down.

I see how people compare their lives – who’s got the best career. Who’s got the most money. Who’s the most beautiful. Who’s got the best car. Who’s got the best future and many more.  That’s competition, but is that how your life should be led?

I am still of the opinion that to move ahead fast in life, competition is inevitable. Moreover, whenever you compete, you must compare with your rivals, that’s how you measure yourself against them, but first you must learn the rules of the game.

You can only compete with yourself

compete-compare2

“Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people.” ― David Sarnoff

Yes, it’s absolutely right, the only person you can compete with in life is you – and nobody else. Sounds easy huh? Trust me, it’s much tougher than you might think.

When you compare with others, especially those you perceive to be less accomplished than you, there’s a sense of satisfaction, which can lead to complacency on your side. However,  when it comes to comparing with yourself,  complacency is not an option, because with simple lax, you are beaten.

Competing with others is like in the above image, comparing apple and orange, which is better? It’s simply a relative comparison that leads nowhere.

Real progress comes when you improve with time. Ask yourself these questions

    • Is my life today better than yesterday?
    • Am I more disciplined today than yesterday?
    • Am I better suited to accomplish bigger goals today than yesterday?
    • Am I more focused today than yesterday?
    • Do I learn and improve from the past mistakes?

Remember, your progress isn’t measured against anyone else than yourself. Today is a happier day if you achieve goals worth your time and see progress towards your goals, not so much because you are more successful than other people.

Simply put, you must be better than yesterday, and aiming for tomorrow to be much better than today – that’s an increasing life.

Others don’t really matter

In life, there are always people above you and others below you. You always feel better by comparing with people below you and feel terrible when comparing with those above you. However, that comparison is simply nonsensical because:

      • Your life is special and unique, can’t be compared
      • The comparison is superficial and has no logical meaning
      • Others have different goals and choices in life, you can’t simply compete with them
      • Those below you can be happier than you because they might have chosen that life

When you compare with others, this is what happens:

      • You disorient and lose focus on your important goals and end up copying others
      • You feel hopelessly adrift in life without certainty of what you aim to achieve
      • You are never satisfied because you go for superficial wants and not desires
      • You won’t find true happiness even if your life is better than all other people around you
      • You’ll never be able to help others in need because you feel they’ll be more successful than you

You are the Creator

You aren’t here to compete with other people. You are here to cooperate with others to create something that is bigger and better than what could have been achieved individually. That’s the purpose of life – more for all and less for none.

If you are a competitor, then you risk losing much more than what you could have gained by being a creator of your own life while in the process helping others find paths to their own freedom in life.

Life is friendly to your plans, and everyone else is there to help you achieve goals. Competition isn’t the way to lead your life, instead be the creator.

Final Thoughts

Being better than yesterday is positive grow. What you are today is the result of yesterday. As yesterday determines today, so is today determining tomorrow.

In life, the noblest thing is to be better than your present self – improve to become the ideal you. People are never the same. We are all different. We have different ambitions and goals. We face different challenges. We have different visions. We make different goals. We have strengths and weaknesses in different areas.

Most importantly, life is not a challenge but a choice. You cannot compete with anyone else but yourself. You cannot win anyone but yourself. Avoid comparing your life with those of others. Your life is unique; avoid copying from others because you are destroying the originality of its being.

Thanks for sharing with your friends if you found this article useful.