Here’s why we easily give up on goals

When we come of age, we are supposed to cultivate wisdom. Improve in decision making. Advance skills at achieving goals. Make better choices because they define our lives.

But why do we still make poor choices? Why do we still give up on goals even when they are so compelling?

Back when we were children, most skills were blunt and some weren’t quite fully developed. The imagination of the world was fuzzy and hence hindered us from making better decisions, most times. The lack of better understanding of how the world works made us feel like we must, at all times, be at the center of the attention.

Unfortunately, that’s not how the real world works. The world is unfriendly and colder than imagined.

In life when we lose ground and let our goals slip away, we don’t only miss the opportunity to prove to ourselves that we are capable of achieving a goal and make the difference in life, but we tell our minds that we aren’t good enough to accomplish anything. That is more detrimental than you can imagine because when you back down, it doesn’t only become a simple habit, rather it builds a pattern likely to be repeated in the future.

Here, I present you with two reasons why most of us keep giving up on our best goals, even when we could still achieve them if we went through them properly.

Haste Decision Making

Having a fuzzy ideas on the goal leads to overlooking some very critical issues. This leads not only to problems, but also deters your best efforts when you are stuck and everything seems insurmountable.

Decisions are key in determining how life turns out, that’s why it’s crucial to take time and chew over the idea before putting more efforts to make it come to life.

There’s no problem in delayed decision making, but there is a problem in not making a decision at all. It’s better to decide that you may need time and more resources than overlooking key facts only to find yourself giving up a few days down the road. Better start small and walk your way up than aiming so high and only to find yourself short of supplies to get you going.

Before I started blogging, I had a lot of reservations. I didn’t hastily go around it, but I took time to think about what could become of it when I fully engage myself. I thought of things I had to share with others, interact with people and the effort I have to put to keep contents flowing. That got me past my worries. Had I hastily made that decision, I am sure it would have led me to shipwreck.

Thinking improves our decision making. Thinking gives an goal a better time perspective. Then, you’ll likely see things in a better time frame. On the other hand, quick decisions are always poor and lead to frustrations.

Abundance of choices

In my opinion, having too many choices in goals is a very bad thing. If you have a lot of fallback plans, there’s always a room to leave an important goal for a lesser one when you face roadblocks.

Humans are emotional creatures. We attach emotions to our goals. We take goals so personal.

We hate uncertainty. We avoid pain. We can’t cling to a goal that’s not promising. That’s why we tend to jump from one goal to the next. It makes us feel better and rather occupied with something to look forward to, as long as it is inspires us.

In the end, we go round inthe same circle – we give up.

In my opinion, you can accomplish a goal if it’s the only thing you look up to. It’s the only thing that mattes in your life. That way, even giving up becomes a chore. You won’t have anything else to look forward to. No matter how hard the goings  get, such a goal must see the light of day.

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Stand on the shoulders of giants

When the going gets tough, I seek refuge within me, but at times the problems escalate and my mind fails to work properly. During these moments, even the smallest problems seem insurmountable. I hardly focus. Instead, my unstable mind succumb to more problems.

It’s during this moment that I prefer to engage other people who harmoniously relate to me.  A few minutes into the discussion I could relieve myself of the load, clear my mind and feel much more like a human again.

I have noticed that a healthy and harmonious relationship with other people has not only therapeutic value, but it’s the basic foundation of how our lives are meant to be. Most things seem easier when two or more minds work on it than individuals. We prosper much easily and quicker as a team than as individuals.

It is certainly true that no individual has great powers without harmoniously availing herself of a group of like-minded people pursuing a  common purpose. We hardly succeed to our best as individuals. As a matter of fact, superman doesn’t exist in real life – but such a character can be virtually created in the mindset of those who know how to select the right people to harmoniously engage with.

The common but timeless idea of United we stand, divided we fall, finds use even in our most personal lives, every day. The more we engage others and collectively aim to serve them, the more we help ourselves. Every honest effort we put in helping others is reciprocated.

Are you choosing the right people?

Being around people isn’t a criteria that you’ll prosper beyond your wildest imaginations, but being around the right people does qualify as a criteria to prosper. I insist on the right people because it is a known fact that the people we share most of our precious time with highly contribute to either our success or failures in life. So the decision of who takes most of your time in life merits careful considerations, because it means either progress or failure and no middle ground.

Now, “right people” is quite a relative term and it certainly means differently for each of us. However, there are common  traits to the kinds of people who are considered right. Among many, they must be focused, success oriented, and positive minded people who see the need of others on their way to success. People who are selfless and able to help others when in need.

Take a quick look at politics, sports and other social arena. We always see that the ones who prosper are the ones who made the right choices for the people around them. They are surrounded by the best. They make a perfect, cohesive team. Their mindsets harmoniously contribute to the collective success of the group, not individuals – they think as a team.

This is what it means by standing on the shoulders of the giants. You don’t feel powerless by being weak and alone, but you feel invincible by knowing that the synergy formed by cooperating with other people lead to more significant changes than what you could have done individually for the entire lifetime.

Napoleon Hill in his classical book Think and Grow Rich described the Power of the Mastermind, and noted that, Power is the organized effort, sufficient to enable an individual to transmute desire into its monetary equivalent. BUT, the organized effort is produced through the coordination of efforts of two or more people who work toward a definite end, in spirit and harmony.

In a good team, it’s always a win-win situation. Everyone knows that you don’t win as an individual, but collectively as a team. This is how the world works. Choose wisely, because even simple choices tend to affect our lifes, no matter how small.

Stand on the shoulders of the Giants!

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Are You That Credible?

“Credibility is like virginity. Once you lose it, you can never get it back.”

Credibility is everything in life, especially if you want to earn respect and trust of the people around you, which, I suppose, is the need for everyone in this life. You always need people in life – career, health, education, personal, and professional lives. To influence these people, you must be credible.

Simply put, credibility rules, everywhere.

You can see how credibility matters in real life scenarios. Take an example of  business and politics. In my opinion, these two share a common trait – they both use credibility as a leverage. Guess what? It works like a charm.

Business establishes credibility via its brands and eventually leverages the credibility to generate profit. Once the brand is credible enough, people associate it with trust and keep coming in large numbers. There will be no such thing as shortage of customers.

Politician builds credibility and later leverages it to run for the office and ultimately win the election. It is the credibility that builds trust, which is crucial to gain an influencing power over the majority.

Credibility Is Earned

Credibility is never free but earned. You have to work hard to get it. None can give you credibility but it’s gradually built with your deliberate actions towards collective contributions into the lives of others.

Ultimately, you don’t decide how credible you are, it’s others who decide your credibility. Credibility is precious and priceless because it’s something you cannot give, but it’s what you receive as the outcome of your conscious efforts and dedication to serving others with integrity, honesty and truth.

Here’s what I believe when it comes to credibility: You can only be credible once you promise and over deliver.

Most of us do the contrary – we over-promise and under-deliver or not deliver at all. That destroys credibility. It ruins image and kills your future chances to gain trust and influence over others.

Why Credibility matters?

In the past post on 9 reasons why should you think like a CEO, I gave out several reasons why you need to consciously lead your life. One of the reasons I pointed out is that, you need to convince and influence others to your point of view. Surprising enough, it happens more often than not.

This may sound an easy thing but ultimately credibility is what makes this process easier.

Credibility makes you convincing and believable. 

In order to get along and succeed in life, you have to establish a level of influence in others’ decision, and that is done by credibility. If you are trusted, and you have built that in the minds of others, why should you fail to impress? Your need is to influence people and not compel them to your point of view. You must speak and convince them but let them decide on their own, don’t coerce them, don’t force them.

That is to say,

  • Credibility is the power to influence.
  • Credibility brings profit to our lives

How to gain credibility

As it has been constantly repeated above, credibility is crucial. Now, how do you build credibility and leverage it to success in life?

  • Promise and deliver

Be a person of your words. Promise and over-deliver. Provide the superior quality for everything that bears your name.

  • Integrity

You must be a person of your words. Be truthful, loyal and entertain what is right. Build the image of a person who’s surrounded with honesty and truth.

  • Creativity

Everyone upholds creativity. It’s what thrusts our lives ahead fast. The ability to be creative gives you the upper hand to gain others’ trust and admiration.

 Are you that credible?

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