“I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.” – Thomas Paine
Fear – it is the emotion that leads to both destructions and advantages to the human being in the modern society. Sadly, only the bad things are known about this noble and powerful emotion. This article hints both positive and negative sides of fear to give you a good perspective on how to effectively use treat it once it raids on your mind.
I am of the opinion that nothing is either good or bad but your perception of it gives a meaning. The meanig you attach to anything eventually manifests to a reality in your mind. In that case, fear is one of them. We are constantly conditioned to look at fear as bad and detrimental. But, is that all there is to out fears? Can’t you see how this emotion works to favor you in some cases? Well, I have and this article points them out.
There are different kinds of fears – fear of failure, public speaking, heights, confronting others, success, examination, commitments and many others.
Fear is abstract and momentary.
It’s abstract because it’s only in your head. It’s momentary because when the moment passes, so are your fears. In fact, fear exists only in your imagination. It’s nothing physical or tangible, probably that’s why it’s such a powerful ghost and difficult to control.
What causes fear?
Fear can be induced by any of the following factors:
- Lack of confidence: This can be lack of confidence on your abilities or unfounded convictions that haven’t been proven wrong.
- Past experiences: The negative or unpleasant past experiences
- Failures: which include both past and impending failures
- Ridicule or bad Image: Avoiding ridicules and feeling of bad Impression you’re making to other people
Fear Is Your Best Friend
“Fear makes us feel our humanity.” – Benjamin Disraeli
Fear has use to us, and that is certain. However, the big question is how do you channel your fear towards your ultimate success? Here are a few ways in which fear can help you.
1. Fear is A Motivator
In the past post on 10 best ways to boost your motivation, I named fear as one of the motivating factors towards taking action. It’s true that we are motivated into taking action when we fear. For instance, fear of delaying for deadline for submission, fear of being fired for inaction, and many other factors.
At times we are forced to act and take best choices in order to protect our precious relationships out of fear of losing our loved ones around us. That fear isn’t bad after all.
2. Fear Signifies Value
Sometimes fear signifies that what you’re facing is precious and important – something of higher value and you should be careful. Imagine, you can easily talk to your colleagues than confronting your boss. You are more cautious to make a move to a girl of your dreams than just any other girl. In this case, fear signifies something valuable and that you must act with respect. That’s another plus for your fears.
3. Fear Keeps you in check
The author in the book Your Inner Child Is Calling observes, “I should warn you that, you can’t be completely fearless. That’s naïve. Humans must fear, and indeed fear has its place. You should only fear to engage in unproductive patterns, engage into negative habits, fall into indolence and cultivating negativities. If you project your fears there, you are really doing justice to yourself.”
Fear Is Your Worst Enemy
“Look beyond fears to discover the world filled with plenty of opportunities. Be courageous, visualize and see the reality manifest in your imagination. That world will open, embrace, and carry you its realm of abundance that would otherwise have remained hidden to you.” – Colin Mtita, Your Inner Child Is calling
Fear is detrimental if it slows you down in the pursuit of your dreams. Fear is bad when it hinders you from taking the right action towards success.
If you are slave to your fears, then you must work to overcome them. The good news is, overcoming fear is a learnable skill and you can you do it. You only have to decide and be ready to let of go of your fears. It is not a one day thing, but with conscious efforts you can definitely do it.
How to Crash Your Worst Fears
1. Be Certain Of Your Goal
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” – Rosa Parks
If you are certain of your goal, then no amount of fear can hold you back. Do you want to achieve your goal? If yes, then keep plodding along. No amount of fear is enough to hold you back if the desires to accomplish your goals are too strong.
2. Accept Failures
Behind most of our fears is failure. This might be your past failures or the feeling of inadequacy in abilities to engage into curent tasks. Is the fear of failure paralyzing you from taking action? If it does, then understand that failure doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. Failure is only a stage in life that teaches you the best lessons worth learning.
Trust me, there will come a point in life where failure is not an option but a necessity. No matter how hard you avoid it, you’ll eventually fail. If you do fail as you’ll eventually, don’t be so hard on yourself. Failure doesn’t mean you are stupid, weak, or ignorant. It only means that you must learn more to face the challenges. Your failures today teach you the best lessons necessary to face the challenges tomorrow. Go ahead and do what you do. Don’t let your fear of failure hold you down.
3. Choose Freedom
Think of freedom – you can do anything, have anything, be anyone, and go anywhere. But freedom also entails free from fear. Do you always choose freedom in your life? Do you advocate freedom? If you do, then cast away your fears. Detach from all situations that bring you sense of security. Security is a myth. Security is a manifestation of fear. Avoid to make choices because of security – your job, your life and other choices. Choose freedom.
4. Get Coaching
Is fear of failure holding you back from venturing into a lucrative business opportunity that’s so enticing to you? Well, that’s okay. It happens more often than not. Most people have fear of success or failure, especially when taking great leaps to the unknown future. If you are one these people, then making a move can be a daunting task.
My opinion is, if you hesitate too much, then get yourself a coach, a mentor, or someone more experienced to teach you through it. Get someone who’s gonna guide you through your journey. Learning is necessary if you have to be the best at what you do.
Imagine how secure and confident a child becomes when they she’s around an adult she fully trusts? That’s exactly how you’ll feel with your mentor. You’ll imagine they have magical powers in that area, they know all the answers, and that makes you trust them. As you slowly follow into their instructions, you purge your fears without knowing.
Find a mentor to guide you. In the process, you combat your fears. A mentor is a person who tells you what to do and what not to do. The rest can be easily figured out by yourself.
5. Take Action
Fear can be induced by several circumstances. Some may be within our control and some may not. If it’s something out of your control, then plan how you’ll adapt to it and cast your fears away. Unfortunately, there’s little you can do in this case. Even fears won’t help you much.
If it’s something that you can manage, then the best thing you can do is take action. The results are not as bad as they seem in your head. Remember, failures are part of the success. If you have to learn, you learn from your own mistakes. Take action and be ready to fail but never give up, instead, learn and change your tactics.
I always insist, you only learn once but the lessons are worth a lifetime – your fears can hinder your growth today, but if you overcome them now, you become more powerful to face more fears in the future, as Ralph Waldo Emerson observed, “Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain.”
Do you dread to take action when the opportunity happens? Do you think of how bad if you fail? How painful it will be? Well, here is the best thing – change your thoughts towards the action. Instead of pain, be grateful for the chance that is presented to you. A chance that can help you in life. A chance that can teach you valuable lessons.
Just be grateful. Gratitude is a lifesaver. I would say it has a placebo effect in a way because it makes you feel great throughout the day even when you expect nothing good to happen. You have to understand that, fear haunts the mind filled with negativities. The mind that focuses and expects bad things to happen. If you are grateful and your mind focuses and hopes for the greater good, then fear won’t have a place in it.
7. Ask for help from others
There are plenty of people who have had issues with the public speaking skills. In fact, fear of public speaking is one of the worst among many of us. But have you wondered how others handled it? Yes, they had it in the past, but they got over it. Confront someone who has gone past this stage. Ask them how they did it. Then practice what they said. Learn how they were able to overcome their fears. That’s how you learn from the best to crash your demons of fear.
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